Monday, July 10, 2006
LOOKING BACK
after 4 years, we met on friday, 19th of May.
one of the best moments in my life from 27th May to 3rd June.
i was on cloud 9.
for the next few days, i was devastated.
i kept myself busy thinking i'll be fine, but no.
there was nothing i could do.
14 June, you said it seems like i've disappeared instead.
i have always been around.
15 June, you drove to my place. met to exchange our stuff. awkward silence.
i was at Zouk on the 16/17 June and it started to look like you cared.
early morning of 19 June, i met you at Grapevine and i wished you happy 22nd. seeing you that night was like a dream come true.
on the same day, you asked me out for dinner and i was surprised. why would you want me at your birthday dinner? i was more than happy though it felt a little awkward.
since that day, we've been meeting quite a bit. almost daily.
how and why did we get so close so soon?
i'll never forget how you tricked me in by doing all sorts of funny things on 22nd June. you were cute.
read the post about how you felt when you saw your gift, especially part 2 of it. i never told anyone that i teard when i read that. super drama, some may say. i felt loved and apprciated. you then asked why was i so nice to you.
Zouk on 5/6 July and i had a wonderful time with you till 6am. i never experienced anything of that sort before. it was unforgettable.
on 8/9th July at CAN, you asked if i knew that it was just "friends with benefits" and i said yes. you felt that it wasnt fair and yada yada. felt rather shattered but i'll be fine.
when im upset/angry/uncomfortable or anything of that sort, i look away. now you know. you didnt know what i like about you. i was very reluctant to let you off the cab, not knowing what will happen after that.dropped you off and i went to walk for a little while. i thought about us and i figured what is it that i wanted. you should know by now what is it that i really want. i was surprised that you were actually worried and i know you knew what i was doing while i ignored your calls. im sorry.
"Love You" was the first thing you said when i picked up your call. i don't know why i teared so much upon hearing that. was i touched/happy/confused/lost or what.
got your long message in the morning, you said there's only so long you can maintain...
losing concentration while driving was the bad. thank god i reacted in time or i'd have crashed. i was really bothered and distracted. im sorry.
i see that things are getting a little better on 10 July. im glad that you made things clear and i know what im getting myself into.
no rush baby.
my love is all i have to give.
cindy-ave-kelly (:
7/10/2006 03:29:00 AM
