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Tuesday, November 02, 2004

i used violence today


missed school this morning and i didnt go to school to collect my projects. went to meet elaine and ling at cine for lunch.


happen to see d'wayne at the entrance. he was with a girl. i dont know who she is. i questioned them. both said there was nothing going on. how am i suppose to believe when he said he was at suntec. he told the girl walked around first. d'wayne and i argued and we got pissed and left. i saw the girl walking off to meet him somewhere i suppose. ran after her.


questioned her but she didnt wanna answer me. chased and followed her for awhile.
then, i broke down. i pulled her tshirt and there was a hole. i grabbed her arms so tighly with my nails and i poked her real hard repeately with my long nails. i even kicked her. there were red finger nails markings on her arms. she even pushed me off the stairs.


this is the first time im actually using violence against a girl who got close to him. i've no idea what i did. i was yelling, crying and fighting with her near cine. everyone was looking. d'wayne was not even there. he didnt want to meet me.


after talking to the girl for awhile, she asked if i wanted a hug as i was crying badly!?!?!? wth. i dont need that from a girl who flirts with my bf.


i wonder what's wrong with me. he said i was too possessive. im only afraid thats all. i never meant to hurt anyone. he said he doesnt bother or care and he's totally disappointed with me.


he said the girl's mum wants to report me. i was never so violent. i was a girly girl who only the most, talks and bitch about others. i used violence. i really didnt mean to. she agitated me!


everythings not going my way. she should have pushed me till i fainted so i can report her. i hate her.


i feel that it isnt love anymore. its like an obsession. i feel that im being made used of and my feeling are being manipulated. im afraid im gonna turn psycho soon. i was never that violent and crazy. and now, d'wayne and i are not talking anymore. he's disappointed. who's hurting who more. d'wayne should know it very well.


IM REALLY NOT THE TYPE WHO WILL USE VIOLENCE



cindy-ave-kelly (:
11/02/2004 08:48:00 PM


cindy

* coatedcindy * your one and only limited edition pocket sized doll * its a mannequin obsession you will never understand *

aveline

* BA (Hons) Fashion and Marketing * University of Huddersfield *

kelly

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